What is Good?

Deciding what is good is a fairly tricky matter.

Fifty years ago, smoking was a good thing. You were not manly if you are a guy and didn’t smoke. But today you are shunned by almost everyone if you do smoke.

In Japan and some places in China, slurping is expected when you eat noodles. It’s an expression of enjoyment, satisfaction and appreciation. But if you dare make any noise when eating in Europe or North America, you are in for some serious staring and frowning.

After a long drought, a sudden downpour that makes farmers jump with joy completely devastates the people attending an out door wedding ceremony.

You see, what is good at one time, in one place or for one group of people can be decidedly bad at a different time, in a different place or for a different group of people.

The same thing happens in our personal life. What was good at the time turned out not so good at all five years down the road. What was terrible turns out the best thing that has ever happened in our life. And whereas a physically abused brother becomes a black belt karate master and successful business leader, his well looked after sister becomes a ne’er-do-well and ends up a drug addict.

So what is good, then? You ask.

And is there such thing as inherently or universally good?

The answer is, no, there is no such thing as good or bad in actuality. It’s only our illusion.

Things are neither good nor bad. They just are.

It’s our own lopsided perceptions that label them good or bad.

Life consists of a series of lessons which often present themselves in various forms of adversity – failure, frustration, attack, etc., things that we normally consider bad. Many would pray to God to have these “bad things” removed.

Imagine asking a teacher to stop teaching or giving assignments and only do whatever the unlearned pupils want!

Nature faithfully gives us feedbacks and warns us of our misbehaviours. Having a headache the next morning tells us not to get drunk again. A higher body weight whispers to us to start paying attention to our diet and our emotional state and start exercising. But we don’t like these. They are all bad. They are such nuisances. Why can’t I drink as much as I like and eat as much as I like and still enjoy a terrrific figure?

Then come the do-your-gooders. I do this for your good, they pronounce.

The fact is, those who claim to do things for other’s good rarely know what is good for them. Most of the time, they do a disservice to the people they are supposed to help.

This happens a lot with ambitious parents wanting their children to be “successful.” They want their children to be either doctors or lawyers or marry one of such, regardless of whether their children like it or not. Frankly, these parents aren’t really interested in their children’s wellbeing. They just want their children fulfill their own expectation.

Inside the family or out in society, I-do-it-for-your-good is often I-want-you-to-live-according-to-my-law. That’s basically it.

To conclude, let me briefly cite the fascinating story of Milarepa, the God-realized, 11-12th century Tibetan saint and poet.

Milareapa was born into a wealthy family. But his father died when he was only 7, with a little sister at 3. His greedy relatives betrayed his father’s trust. They stole his inheritance and reduced his family to poverty. To avenge the family, his mother sent him out to find a teacher to learn black magic.

Young Milarepa learned the black art and used it during a wedding to cause the wedding house to collapse, killing over thirty of his corrupt relatives. Later he worked his spells to cause a hail storm, which totally destroyed a bountiful barley crop of the area. The frightened villagers were enraged. They determined to kill him.

Milarepa run to his teacher, who advised him that he had made so much black karma that he’d better seek the help of a Buddhist master to redeem some of his karma, so that he might have a easier incarnation in his next life.

Milarepa regretted. He set out in search of a master. The Holy Spirit led him to Marpa, a completely enlightened, God-realized master. Marpa recognized Milarepa’s heavy load of karma and could not teach him the secret of the Truth until his karma was cleared. So he put him through tremendous hardships to test his devotion and clear his karma. After toiling in the field, Milarepa was asked to build a crescent shaped house. When the house was built, Marpa became very upset, telling Milarepa that it was not what he wanted. He demanded Milarepa to tear it down and build a triangular one. When the new house was built, Marpa lashed out at Milarepa again for building the wrong house. He ordered Milarepa to build a square one with nine stories. The construction of the nine storey tower bruised and battered Milarepa in body, mind and spirit.

Several times during his test, Milarepa was driven to despair and thought that he had made so much bad karma that he would never be good enough. But the young seeker’s love for and devotion to learning the secret teachings never wavered.

Marpa’s wife took pity on the youth. She tried many times to interfere before her husband and intervened in secret. And Milarepa appealed to her for help. Unfortunately, her actions only delayed her husband’s plan for Milarepa. When the nine story tower was finally finished, Marpa called Milarepa and his wife to come before him. He rebuked his wife that if she had not interfered, Milarepa would have worked off all his karma from his practice of black magic. As it stood, a portion remained, which he must work out.

Despite the remaining karma, Marpa recognized Milarepa’s devotion and gave him the first initiation, enabling him to begin receiving the secret teacings.

What Marpa’s wife did was interfering in a spiritual test, which led the young Milarepa to believe that someone else could intervene in his obligations before the Law of Karma. But the law of karma is exacting. It requires everyone to be responsible for his or her own debt. Like in the case of Marpa’s wife, trying to do good for someone may just do that person a disservice.

Make sure you know what is really good for someone the next time you are tempted to interfere in their life.

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